Sunday, March 29, 2009

almost 11 weeks old

Again with this bear?

Fine, take the picture, already.... and by the way check out my little gentleman sweater vest and dress socks.
Check out my big blue eyes!!

Apparently baby play mats are also a great way to keep your cats entertained.

Don't I look like my daddy?

One more time...

So, because my husband keeps closing my window of my partially updated-haven't been saved-I'll get back to it later-and then the window and whatever I wrote is now gone forever-blog, I will be typing this for the third time.

Everything on the home front is mostly good. Still no good news on Clint's job. They did NOT get the big order they were hoping for, but as Clint tries to assure me, the several smaller deals that are in the works are going to be just as good. There is also the 8.6m grant from the government that is supposed to be coming in April... I guess I am just pessimistic...or realistic... I need answers and results.

Owen has started sleeping ALOT. He wakes up around 7-8, takes a little nap between 9 and 10, usually takes a big nap from around 12-4, and then comes the evening. Turns out the boy has colic. Every evening around 6ish, Clint says he cries and cries and there is no consoling him. I know it's because he is tired, but he won't sleep! He gets himself so workd up that he can't relax. Clint has found (since I am at work at that time every week night) that putting him in his carseat and walking him around the apartment or putting him on the dryer is the only thing that helps him fall asleep. Once he falls asleep, by the time he wakes back up, he is usually out of the colic period of the night. When I get home at 9 (oh how I wish I was home for the evening with my family, but instead I am proofreading legal documents), I snuggle him for a few minutes and make him smile, and then we start the bedtime routine. Bath, lotion, bottle, bed. In the past two weeks, he has gradually been building up the amount of time he sleeps, and Thursday or Wednesday he slept 10 hours!!! If he goes to bed around 10, I can almost guarantee he will sleep until 6:30. There has been two times in the past week that he woke up before morning. Once because I think he started choking on his saliva and then another time because I think he had gas. If he does wake up before morning now, it takes very little time to get him back to sleep. Thank God, because now that he does sleep through the night, I will be so sad if we have to start trading off middle of the night feeds.

We have also been putting him down to nap in his own room in his crib for daytime naps. At first it was in the carseat, but the past few days I have been laying him down on his back in his crib, and if he wakes up, he sucks his thumb and falls back asleep. I think this will make it easier for when we go to putting him in his own room for the night. I told Clint when he sleeps through the night every night for two weeks, we could try putting him in his own room.

He also smiles and talks so much these days, I am on the edge of my seat waiting for him to laugh for the first time! I can't wait! I think he tries, but he doesn't yet grasp that he can make the same sounds Mommy and Daddy make everytime he talks and smiles. He does understand conversation it seems. I talk and then wait for him to respond, and he does! He makes his little noises and then I talk back. And before, where I had to touch his cheeks or lips (which I still do if I am trying to get him to smile for strangers) if we are at home, and it's either me, Clint or my mom, he smiles if you only look at him. Someone told me today that he looked like the Gerber baby and that he could be a model for baby magazines. I think he's the cutest baby I've ever seen, but I'm partial.

I scheduled his baptism for April 26 at the early service at church! It's a tiny congregation compared to the 11am service, but we know the most people at the morning service, and it's more intimate and we love it. Owen is always fantastic through church. He is quiet and looks around, usually falls asleep towards the end, and seems to impress everyone. He is such a good little church-goer.

I'm having a hard time being at work these days. When I know Clint is home with Owen and he is being colicky, it's all I can think about. I don't think people who don't have kids can understand. I hate that if it were up to Owen, his bedtime would probably be 7:30 or 8, but we hold him off until I get home from work. For now, Clint and I will continue to fantasize about what it would be like to win the lottery. We always plan to help our parents with their debts, pay off all our debt, invest wisely, and of course take fantastic vacations.

Still reading Revolutionary Road. It's really good, but I have about five seconds a day to look at a book. We watched Role Models and half of Milk this weekend. I can't wait until Marley and Me, the Reader, Revolutionary Road and Benjamin Button come out on video.

Things to look forward to, Shannon may come visit this weekend, Virginia's baby shower is coming up, possibly seeing the HONORS, (my friend Brandon's band) in Pittsburgh and seeing Nicole! And of course, my aunt visiting and seeing other relatives for Owen's baptism!

Good things.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

How about some pictures?

Owen on his first walk, which he loved. He took everything in with quiet contemplation, feeling the breeze on his chubby cheeks. And then....
He fell asleep and slept through the rest. My mom making him smile and trying to get him to make noises. So cute.

I love his expressions.

Playing in the bumbo.

He's not sure about this....

Frank does his share of babysitting time...

So silly.

Good times.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Drum roll, please.

Owen slept through the night last night!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back story: We have been doing a bedtime routine for less than one week. We have been trying to keep him up a little more throughout the day, as long as he stands it and doesn't get too fussy. Just sort of prolonging things. For example, if he wakes up at 1pm after a nap, we will play for a little while before we feed him lunch.

The routine consists of me getting home from work at 9pm. Loving on him for a few minutes. Having a nice calm bath with Johnsons bedtime bath. (We only wash his hair twice a week because that's his least favorite part, and his hair stays magically clean). Then, he gets rubbed down with Huggies Soft Skin lotion. Gets a fresh diapey and a nice terrycloth or fleece sleeper put on. Then he has a warm bottle and is rocked until he falls asleep.

The first night he slept five hours, and we were thrilled. Even after he woke up after 5 hours, I changed his diaper, fed him another bottle and then he went back to sleep within a half an hour. He woke up about an hour later, but we thought he was getting better at telling day from night.

The second night, he slept something like 6 and a half hours!! That was even better!! But, the downside was that he went to sleep a little earlier because I came home from work earlier, so he got up earlier. That was a hard day that started at 4:45am.

Night before last, we thought the past two nights had been a fluke. He woke up at 12:30 after going to sleep at 9:30. We were so sad. But, he still was only up for about a half an hour, and went right back to sleep and slept for like 4 hours. We think he may have had a tummy ache because it had been more than 2 days since he pooed. (His usual is once every two days).

But last night!!!! He was in a good mood when I got home (most times he is so sleepy that he is a little cranky), but he was in an awesome mood, smiling for 10 minutes at us, and carrying on a conversation! We talked and he made little cooing noises back at us!! He had his bath, and even tolerated having his hair washed without crying! He had his lotion rubbed on, which made him fuss a tad, but once we got to the bottle, he was fine. He fell asleep around 9:45pm and didn't wake up until a few minutes before 6am!!!!!!!! I attribute this success to routine, staying up longer during the day, gentle sounds and lights around and after bathtime, and of course, the thumb. When he woke up, he fussed for a second, and then I heard him start sucking his thumb and then silence for another half hour. When I looked at him right before 6, he was still sucking his thumb. Shortly after that he woke up for good. Thank God for thumbs!!!!!

Here are some pictures that Clint has taken with his cell phone and sent to me at work, so I don't miss him too too much.
Adorable, right?

We have also definitely decided on April 26 for his baptism! Yes! My Aunt is coming from North Carolina, and it's good with both of the God-parents. In other church news, we are working in the nursery this weekend for a little extra $$ and because the new girl can't do it this weekend. I told our minister that if she ever can't do it, we can come back to it.

Speaking of money, I am turning into quite a bargain shopper!!!! It gives me such a thrill!! I got a one day pass to Sam's Club thanks to our Allstate Insurance and my friend and fellow bargain shopper, Erin. They had our brand of formula, Similac Advance Early Shield, in 33.4 ounce containers for $27!!!!!! Usually it is $23 dollars for 23 ounces! I bought two for a total of $54 which will probably last about two weeks! Also at Sam's I bought an enormous package of chicken for $11, and an enormous package of western style pork ribs for $8. Since I am still on my mandarin orange and canned pineapple kick, I bought a case of each (8 and 6 cans, respectively), for a total of $15. Along with a couple other little things, I spent $108. (Considering half of that was formula, and I got at least 6 meals worth of meat, I feel excellent about it.

Then today, I went to Kroger for other essential things. I had a list of about 15 things, but came home with much much more. I got some veggies, english muffins, potatoes, etc... Then I realized that Kroger was still doing their promotion on certain brands, where if you bought 10 participating items, you got five dollars off your grocery bill. Just so happens, tons of the participating items were things I usually buy anyway! Including 4 Powerades for Clint at $1 each. Also, I don't usually buy frozen meals for myself, but Clint takes them for lunch a lot, and there a couple that I enjoy and will occasionally buy. Well, Stouffers frozen meals were on sale for $2 each, AND I had two separate coupons for Stouffers, saving over $2. So, with me back to work and Clint home with the baby, sometimes all he has time for is a frozen dinner. So, I bought like 12 of them!! ALSO they were a part of the promotion where if you bought 10 items you got $5 off!!! I also had a $5 coupon for complaining about Cottonelle toilet paper, so I bought a 12 pack of mega roll toilet paper for $1.49 after a sale and my coupon! I got a roll of paper towels for $.59, and Huggies were on sale for $10, and I had a $2 off coupon that expires in May, so I bought some in the next size, because I still haven't had to buy diapers yet!! So I got 40 size 2 diapers for $8!!!

So, I was excited to see the total. I put all my stuff on the conveyor belt, and the total was $138. Then, I used my Kroger plus card, saved a total of $10 because of the promotions, and used my coupons and the total was.......... $74!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's almost half!!!!! Clint was so proud of me. We also have been finagling our bills around so that our payments are manageable while Clint is laid off, and once he goes back to work and is at full salary, we will be able to pay off his car by the end of summer!!! Then, we want to put all that extra money towards other bills! We have a good plan.

Ok, this is like the longest post ever.
Today is a good day.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

5 hours is a lifetime.

So, this is the first week Clint is home laid off. The whole situation is kind of both horrible and good at the same time. So he's laid off and we are going to bring in significantly less money for the time that he is (which is hopefully only partial and temporary). But he is also spending quality time with our 2-month old baby, time that he will never again be able to capture. This is priceless time. So in a way, it was good timing. Also, right now, the only expense we have for Owen is formula @ $21.00 a container, thank you very much. Thanks to the diaper raffle I had at my baby shower, I have yet to buy diapers, and will likely not have to for at least another month. He's just growing out of size 1, I have an industrial size box of the hybrid size 1-2, and several packages of 2's. I think we are in good shape.

I think he is also going to get baptized on April 26!! I'm so excited! My Aunt will hopefully come up from North Carolina, and all the Wheeling folks. I have to finalize plans with the church.

Clint has decided that while he is off work, he is going to dedicate his time to getting Owen on a schedule. It's actually going surprisingly well. He read about napping and play time, and is letting Owen have several 1-2 hour naps a day, with plenty of play time to wear him out before each feeding. We are also setting up a sleep routine. Last night when I got home from work, I gave him a bath using the bedtime bath wash that Virginia got me for my baby shower, and then I rubbed him down with Huggies soft skin lotion that MB brought when she visited (I wish I had bedtime bath lotion, too), then he had a bottle and slept for FIVE HOURS!!!!! SUCCESS!! Tonight, we did the same thing except he ate a little bit less than he did at his bedtime feeding last night, and he went to sleep a little earlier, so we might not make it five hours tonight.

However, he seems to be making progress.

Either way, it's 10:30, he has been asleep for almost an hour, so I better hit the hay!!!! Goodnight!
Owen and Mama, taken from Clint's cell phone on my lunch break yesterday.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

West Virginia, the best Virginia.

We have been taking a lot of pictures lately... Here are some of my favorites.

Who is it?

This thing is glued to my hand.
Say what?

Owen and mommy.

Owen and his big blue eyes.

Owen in his favorite position.

This picture looks so much like Clint's baby pictures I can't stand it! In all of his other pictures, I think Owen looks like me, but in this one, there is NO mistaking it.

Look at those eyes.

All clean!

He's growing like a weed. He has been sleeping a lot better these days too, except for last night. We had two consecutive nights of at least 4 hours sleep at a time, but then last night he was up every two hours. Two steps forward, one step back. However, it does appear he is getting better at finding the thumb. In fact, I think he has been sucking his thumb so regularly that he has a continuous little red callous-like mark on his knuckle! I'm curious to see if he is going to alternate from the left thumb to the right thumb. In my baby pictures it showed me sucking the left thumb, but I know that as I got older, I only sucked the right one. Interesting.
Virginia came to visit to today. She is getting really pregnant, it's so cute! She has a perfect little belly bump! I can't wait for her baby shower. I'm torn as to what to get her. There is a good idea for really neat personal stuff, and then an idea for really practical stuff. I can't decide. She also came bearing the gift of formula. Much appreciated.
The first week of work is down. It wasn't as bad as I feared it would be. I think it helped tremendously that I can walk home on my lunch breaks to see him if I want.
I finished The Reader yesterday. It was pretty good. Not at all like what I thought it was about. I am thinking about reading Twilight, but for now, Lexxi let me borrow Revolutionary Road which sounds much more intriguing to me than some vampire hoopla.
Owey bug is fast asleep in his bassinet, so I am going to hit the hay.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

2-month photo shoot

Owen is 2 months old. He weighs 12 pounds and 13 ounces. He is 23 and a quarter inches long. He smiles and coos a lot. He follows people with his eyes across a room! He loves to snuggle on Mommy's shoulder. He eats about 5 ounces every 3-4 hours. He only sleeps 3-4 hours at a time (or less!) but we hope that once his coordination is better and he can find his thumb all the time he will sleep better. He's awesome.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A better day.

So Tuesday was better than Monday. Monday at work I kept thinking of his little smile and missed him so much that by the time I got home from work, I could not wait to snuggle him, and he was fast asleep. :(
Tuesday, work was pretty busy, but I got to take my lunch break at 5 and I came home for the break. Owen was awake and I was able to finish feeding him and then he fell right asleep on Mommy's shoulder. Then I had some soft tacos that my mom made for us and got back to work in plenty of time. I would like to come home for lunch more often. Then when I got home at 9, Owen was awake again and really pleasant, so I spent about 20 minutes just talking to him and giggling and smiling and hugging. Then I fed him and he slept from about 10:15 (after several tries to go to sleep) and slept until 2! Yeah! Then he was asleep again by about 2:30. He woke up briefly around 4, but he was just frustrated cause he couldn't find the thumb. Whenever he wakes up but doesn't actually open his eyes, I give him a few minutes to find the thumb, and if he just keeps getting frustrated, I get him out of his bed and rock him for a few minutes on my shoulder and he usually falls right asleep. He woke up for good around 5:40.
His 2-month doctor appointment was today at 8am, thank you. He weighs 12lbs, 13 oz and is 23.25 inches long. His lungs sound good, and his ear infections have cleared up! He didn't look congested in his nose and she said he's perfect! We can cut back slowly on the breathing treatments now. He's reaching all his milestones! She said he held his head up really well! I asked how long it should take for his coordination to improve enough for him to find the thumb and keep it in his mouth. She said if he is acting that determined about it and is that happy when he finds it, it shouldn't be long. Unfortunately, his shots had to be postponed because of the antibiotic. I used the sling to carry him between the doctor's office and the car. That went well. I hate lugging around the carseat everywhere. It's so heavy! He was wide awake the entire car ride from home to the hospital and didn't fuss once! Making progress here!!
My mom watching Owen seems to really be working out. She said the first day he was fussy, but yesterday was better. She said that she was able to sit him in the kitchen and do some stuff and he was patient for a while. My mom also offered to make dinner a few times a week. Last night I was able to come home so she made tacos. Tonight she is making barbecue ribs. It's not that Clint isn't capable of making himself dinner, he made burgers Monday night, but this way, my mom gets dinner too. She doesn't cook much anymore, because she doesn't think it's worth it to cook for one person.
I got up really early today, and I am essentially ready for work, so I am going to take a nap I think.
I have to take Owen's 8-week picture today. I can't forget.

Monday, March 9, 2009

The first day back...

So, I made it through the first day back to work...
The first two hours were easy, because in between working on small jobs, I showed people pictures and talked about Owey. After the first couple hours though, I started thinking about him a lot and I started to get really sad... I would think about his little smiling face. And his little ornery face... I missed him terribly. I was going to go home on my lunch break, but Owen was asleep, so I decided not to come home, so as not to disturb him. I managed to only call my mom twice and Clint once, and I only texted Clint twice. He sent me a picture message of Owen smiling :)

Clint said he was awake from like 6 to 8:40, and he's asleep now in the swing, but he still needs to take his antibiotic and is probably going to be starving here shortly. Clint is also asleep. I came home to both my men already asleep.

Now my mind is racing with a million different thoughts. Some of the things I am thinking about...

I started reading The Reader and although it's taking me some time, I'm starting to make some progress. I'm looking forward to seeing the movie. I also really want to see Revolutionary Road. Big Kate Winslet fan. I think she picks really fascinating characters... Some of my favorite films that she is in are Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Finding Neverland, Little Children... I love movies altogether.

I recently got a new phone when I renewed my cell phone contract. Just so happens, the best deal was on a BlackBerry. Even though I had to go through a rebate, I ended up only paying $20 for the phone. The phone, by the way, is awesome. It has a 2.0 megapixel camera, it has about a million functions, and it alerts me everytime I get an email or anything on my Facebook. It's so convenient for correspondence. I love it.

I also received the ring sling in the mail that I ordered from I love it! I wish I would have had it since I brought him home from the hospital, it seems like he likes being "worn."

I'm practically giddy that the weather is improving. I can't wait to take Owen outside for walks!

I think my little man is waking up. I can't wait to snuggle him. Okay, time to refocus on the boy!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The end of an era

So, I have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm devastated. All day long I have been trying to hold Owen as much as possible, and love on him a lot. I'm going to be away from him for 9 hours of every weekday. I will try to come home on my lunch breaks as much as possible. I'm going to miss him so much.
Clint doesn't think so, but I think Owen knows something is up. He seems like he has been really attached to me today. Only falling asleep on me, crying when I try to put him down, and being immediately consoled when I take him from Clint or pick him up... I really think Owen and I are in tune...I already mentioned before about how I think he can sense changes in my mood. I think today he has been clingy to me, and I have been clingy to him. I can't get enough of him.
Also, there was a thunderstorm today, and he woke up to a loud thunderclap and got scared. Clint brought him out to the kitchen because I was making dinner, and he had the poutiest, most wimpy little look on his face. It was so adorable.
So, yea! for making new friends who are in the EXACT same boat as us. Last night, Clint and Owen and I went over the Erin and Denis's house for lots of wine and party food. Erin had a baby exactly 4 days (almost to the minute) before me, a little boy named Alexander. We had almost an identical labor story and delivery. We initially met in church, and I'm really excited to have a new friend that is so similar to me. We had a fun time and hope to do it again sometime.

Also, Natalie is having a boy! My baby intuition is proving to be completely worthless. I thought Steph was having a boy, I thought I was having a girl, and I thought Nat was having a boy. wrong, Wrong, WRONG! Nonetheless, I'm excited to hand down some little boy clothes and baby boy stories... Like, always have a washcloth handy during diaper changes, or some kind of shield...

Just thinking about work makes me sick to my stomach. I'm going to be so distracted all day, week, month... Thank God my mom now has a cell phone so I can call and check up on him every 20 minutes. Ok. Time for bed.

Friday, March 6, 2009


So, my little Owey-bug got sick somehow. Of course, Clint and I were both sick last week, so it makes sense. How do you avoid getting your child sick, if both of his parents are sick? Either way, on Sunday, he started sounding congested in his nose and it seemed like he was really irritable. Monday morning he sounded more congested, and everytime I used his nasal aspirator, I was getting something out of his nose. So I called the doctor and he had an appointment to get checked out. Our pediatrician didn't really see much, and said that his lungs sounded fine and the best thing I could do would be to keep suctioning his nose and running a cool mist humidifier. So, I kept doing that and it seemed like Tuesday he wasn't as congested and he seemed to be eating OK. Tuesday night, he started getting even more congested, and his appetite decreased, so I started getting worried. He also started sleeping a lot, which he usually doesn't do.
So Wednesday at 8am on the dot, I called his pediatrician and told them what was going on. They made an appointment for him at 4:30pm. When we were at the doc's office on Monday, she told me that he could just have a cold and it would clear up on it's own, or it could be RSV and he would need hospitalized. So of course, when he wasn't getting any better by Wednesday, I automatically assume he has RSV and start freaking out. Well, before the doctor's appt. I just had a feeling she was going to want to admit him in the hospital. So, I packed a bag, just in case. Turns out I needed the bag. Sure enough, when she saw him, she said he had an ear infection in both ears... he lost an ounce since monday and that he sounded congested in his chest and that he should be admitted to make sure it wasn't RSV and to be monitered.
I of course felt like a horrible mother. Here my son is, not even 2 months old, and he's already been hospitalized twice (even though I don't really count the time for jaundice because he was brand new and we barely even left the hospital before going right back in). But, I don't know how he could have avoided getting any of my or Clint's germs when we are his sole caregivers.
So, we got admitted to the hospital. Clint stayed with us long enough to get settled into the room and then he went back to Med Express to get himself checked out again, because he was still coughing like crazy.
Owen was sleeping, so I got settled into the room, ordered some food, and then he started getting all kinds of treatment. First of all, did you know that they make baby hospital gowns? It's the most pathetic thing I have ever seen. I almost cried when they put it on him. I actually cried when they gave him an IV. I had to leave the room. My poor little man. He also had a chest x-ray and they started giving him breathing treatments every 3 hours. They tested him for RSV. They also have hospital bed cribs. The sides go up like a cage. Ugh, the whole thing makes me not want to go into a hospital again for a very long time. He managed to get to his thumb a lot, and somehow, he was extremely smiley at all the nurses and me through the whole ordeal.
My little bubby in his baby hospital gown, sucking his thumb.

His little IV.

Of course I packed the monkey. I put it next to him in the cage/bed so he could see it. My mom even said when she came to visit the next day that she thought all night about whether or not I brought the monkey and if I hadn't she was going to go to my house and get it. I can't believe how smiley he was. Everyone thought he was "pretty" and cute. Most people thought he was a girl, I think because of the peach gown and mostly because of our last name.

Our minister came to see us, which was really special. She said a prayer over him and brought me two banana nut muffins.

The RSV test was negative, and his chest looked and sounded fine. Thank God. The breathing treatments seemed to help and his congestion didn't get any worse. So we were discharged after about 24 hours with an antibiotic and a nebulizer to administer the breathing treatments.

I think the whole situation went pretty smoothly considering... It could have been a lot worse, and after thinking about it, looking at my little baby laying there hooked up to an IV and looking miserable, I am so thankful he was only there with a bad cold and ear infections. My heart goes out to families with ill children. I watched a special on TLC the other night on Progeria. I couldn't stop crying.

He seems to be doing much better today, my little man. Except that he has been awake since 4 and it is now 10:30. He took a couple of half hour naps in the middle there, but certainly not enough sleep. He's laying in his bed now, making little grunts and huffs and puffs, I think he is trying to find the thumb. Once his coordination is developed enough for him to get that thumb in his mouth every time he tries, he is going to be a different baby! It's amazing how frustrated a 2-month old can become over a thumb. I've gotta hand it to him though, he is determined.

So, while in the hospital, I slept about a minute. Last night Owen slept from 10 pm to 3 am! WOW! Maybe a fluke, or maybe his sleeping is going to start getting better at night. I was very thankful for the 4+ hours of sleep I got uninterrupted last night. Maybe we will repeat that tonight! Goodnight!!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Bad News.

So, money has been really tight lately, because MetLife basically screwed me, and I haven't been paid the entire time I've been on maternity leave. I've missed 3 paychecks. That's tough. Fortunately (at the time) we got our income tax refund and were able to use that in place of my paychecks. Now I desperately wish I could have saved that money.

Clint came home on Friday and told me that he got laid off. Apparently, it's only temporary and partial? The company can't afford to pay everyone on his project for the whole month, and instead of letting some people go (which Clint said they should have done), they are only going to pay people for two weeks out of the month, and then Clint will have to sign up for unemployment for two weeks. Which is stupid, because two weeks on and then two weeks off, he is going to have to keep initiating unemployment and there is a week grace period before he will get paid each time. Clint thinks it will only be for a few months at the most. His project is the only one that doesn't already have some sort of contract or government funding. They are supposed to be getting a big multi-million dollar contract with this company, and if they do, everything will be fine. If they don't get the contract... I don't know what we are going to do.

I'm struggling, because I'm being realistic about it. He is extremely optimistic, thinking they are going to get the contract, and it should only be a month or two before everything is back to normal. I wish he would start looking for a different job immediately, have another job lined up in case the deal doesn't go through. I'm also being realistic because I write out the bills... I know how much money we have... I know how much money we spend... We have a new baby, and just last night I spent $50 on formula that will last about a week. If any of my friends want to sign up at for coupons you can give us, that would be awesome.

I'm scared. I feel cheated too, because I feel like we have done everything we can to be responsible young adults. We both graduated from college... we both went out and got good jobs... we got married... we waited for a little while before trying to have a baby, we bought a house... and now that the baby comes, everything is falling apart. Fortunately, I have a good job, for now it is only partially going to affect our money situation, our home is filled with love and laughter, and I know that a lot of children have a lot less.

In church this morning, Rev. Smith was talking about poverty and hunger, and that even in our own neighborhood, his wife said her students were excited to come back to school after a week of snow days because they said they didn't have any food at their house. I hear that and my heart breaks.

When I hear things like that, I know we have it so much better than so many and for that I am thankful.